Right now, Flash is the only hero on tv who can credibly suit up before the badguys or emergency situation gets away from him. The rest of them are way late or running up their credit card bill.
Now, Luke Cage has the right idea, but Supergirl and Superman? Just ripping off their perfectly good clothes and tossing them onto some homeless person probably, if not in the middle of the street. Find a dumpster before you fly off. I’d tell you to donate, but the Goodwill doesn’t want your buttonless hand-me-downs. Just invest in pullovers, okay? And where do they put their glasses?
But I’d really like to talk about the non-super heroes. Like Team Arrow. As the saying goes, everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time, and there ain’t no way Team Arrow suits up in less than ten minutes. Not with all those separates.
Really, Green Arrow says, “Let’s go!” and five minutes later they just finished removing their gear from the damn display cases. Five minutes after that, they’re putting grease paint around their eyes–or spray painting it on with stencils to shave off a few seconds. Then they wait another five minutes for the glue on their masks to dry. And another thirty waiting on Mr.Terrific to get his cornrows done.
Y’all. I know cornrows are very practical in a fight–Curtis’s fro is too bomb to have some raggedy baddie snatching out his strands–but there ain’t no way he is getting to the scene of the action at the same time as the rest of the team, if he has to take them down and put them up every single time and at a moment’s notice. Unless there is a professional African hair braider on the team of stylists in the Arrowcave that we don’t know about yet. Ha! Can you imagine them spilling tea while Team Arrow is away? It would be glorious.
A practical crimefighting suit would consist of a (satin-lined) ski mask, reinforced coveralls, gloves and boots. You would probably get mistaken for a criminal or creeper but at least you’d be on time!
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