Pursuit of Natural

life, levity, & the pursuit of natural

New Growth: Believing

13 Comments

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Perception Is Not Always Reality

I photoshopped the model’s big kinky hair over an image of myself. Copped her earrings too. I’d never fiddle with it for long and if anyone caught me daydreaming, I’d plead the fifth.

*

I couldn’t laugh without also reminding myself of how much I ached inside. If I found a moment of peace, I’d feel like I was on borrowed time. Like that model’s looks, I was just trying it on. It didn’t belong to me.

*

If I didn’t have it, I shouldn’t, and if I wasn’t happy I oughtn’t be. That was my perception of what I thought was my reality.

A Shift in Perspective

In fact, I was just stuck in one narrow perspective. That perspective shifted when I envisioned myself natural–with big kinky hair and chandelier earrings–when I visualized it in such detail that I started to dream about it.

*

I dreamed of smiling all the way in my heart and feeling pride where shame and frustration had long resided. I saw possibility instead of a false reality, and later, reality where I once only saw the glimmer of possibility.

*

That big kinky twistout is mine now and can’t nobody tell me nothing.

It Starts With Believing

I had to start by believing in better. Believing in better changed my mindset from one of despair to one of doing, and my outlook from one of impossibility to one of imagination. That makes it so much easier to work towards change, when change is already a difficult task on its own.

If I never have, I always can. Even if I never was, I still have the capacity to become my fullest self.

I’m far from okay, but I’m better. I’m finding my moments of joy again, and I believe.

 

New Growth is a series on how I got to self-care through hair. I’m talking about going natural, and I’m talking about dealing with depression. It’s not easy, and neither is opening up about it, but I’m daily encouraged by the stories I’ve read in this community and elsewhere. So, feel free to leave a comment or a link below. Don’t forget to like, share this with anyone whom you think needs it, and subscribe. You can also follow me on my other platforms via the links in the sidebar.

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Author: pursuitofnatural

I'm a natural black chick in the USA who loves to laugh, write, and help others. So, I created The Pursuit of Natural, a blog on the hijinks, lowjinks, and lessons learned from going natural

13 thoughts on “New Growth: Believing

  1. This is wonderful. Going back to being natural was one of my catapults toward a more positive way of thinking. I didn’t realize it then, but I do now. My big chop marked the day I began doing what makes me happy. It’s been a slow climb, but the difference is evident in my life. I am going to enjoy this series 👏

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So I’ve always been natural but never really took good care of my hair. I have really light hair and want to start being serious about growing ( new year resolutions) . What can I do to thicken it and how do you stay consistent at looking after it? I get tired quickly

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hear you. If the issue with thickness is due to damage or medical issues you would have to get that checked to pinpoint the problem before trying various remedies that may not address it (it could be genetic, topical, dietary, or mechanical damage.) However, a lot of us have naturally fine hair and low density.

      What’s your regimen like currently? How are your wash days? What tasks do you dread most and why?

      If I had to guess, detangling and midweek moisturizing would be where most of us have trouble being consistent. Detangling takes too long and remoisturizing often can’t be done without some detangling.

      I’m still working on midweek moisture. But i have gotten a handle on detangling so I’ll use that as an example. It used to take 4 hours every week and I used to dread it because of that, would put it off. I worked to get it down to less than 2 hours by changing a couple of techniques (what I used, how I separated my hair, and when I did it), and I can now do it on schedule.

      For me, saving time removed the aversion, because the task fit more comfortably into my life. Many tasks in our hair care regimens become things we do not want to do. Find out what you avoid most and why, and you’ll be better able to find solutions.

      Like

  3. I’m going natural too but I have a long way to go because I don’t want to do a big chop. I read somewhere that I can condition twice a week, shampoo once in two weeks and trim my hair regularly. It’s already a struggle to get a big comb through my hair. What do you think?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, you can transition by trimming regularly. Some people even do that for a year or two.

      I think what you’ve outlined is fine, but if you are finding too much mechanical damage or hygral fatigue from wetting and manipulating your hair too often you might want to cut back on the co-washes.

      I shampoo once in two weeks and do not co-wash in between, because my scalp doesn’t mind it, but everyone is different. You may find your scalp is too irritated to wait that long or your hair looks dull due to build up.

      Combing is tricky. I use finger detangling exclusively because i can’t get a comb through my hair without drenching it in conditioner–even wide tooth combs. If you haven’t already, check out my articles for new naturals on myyeka.wordpress.com/author/pursuitofnatural where I talk more about it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been natural for 13 years. Envisioning my head full of hair is what pushed me through the awkward in-between phase between TWA and BAA!! Amen to believing in better.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey Edin, I’ve published the post on natural hair. Please check out my blog. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

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